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June 12, 203X
It's been five long and lonely years since you were taken from
me on this night, while I sit here wrestling with blood-soaked
and smoke-filled memories.? Sometimes they come to visit me in
my dreams-- those are the nights I'm so thankful for your last
creation-- I would be lost without Dowg, you have blessed me with
an anchor in this storm called Life. I should have gone with you
to the office to get those files and tissue samples; I was such
a stupid fool to let you go back alone... you should have told
me you were worried about the takeover's impact on the bid proposal....but
you didn't and I thought nothing of it until the explosion...
I cannot change what happened no matter how many times I chastise
myself, or how much time I devote to rooting out the NeoCorps
that claw away at NeOsaka and her freedom. All I can change is
myself and how I choose to honor the ancestors with my actions.
And for now, I still feel my place is with the Fighters, backing
the promise of my words with the strength of my arm and the speed
and precision of my steel.
The intrigues of diplomacy chafe me, wear me down, tangle me up
in the nets of offer and counter-offer, cross and double-cross.
Maze upon maze of bureaucratic posturing and scheming. Not as
quick and clean as a decisive battle, where you can focus your
Chi and let it burn itself out until the next engagement. Too
much to think of and track, and little of the no-mind that is
kumite. I would prefer to slice through the nets. But I know the
Council will keep pressing me for my acceptance. Soon, but not
now.
"Soon, but not now," that's what I said the last time I met Santiago.
Perhaps I shouldn't have. Or maybe that was the proper action
to take. I do not know. Frustrating, how much this one man interferes
with my balance.? I do not have the time to waste on this. I do
not have the energy to waste on this. But over and over again,
I am drawn to him. Closer and closer, then back away. Connect
for the briefest of moments, understanding, getting somewhere
and then the inevitable misstep and we flee to the four corners,
afraid to reach out.
Why do I come back? Why do I wait? Will he be with the Roller
contingent come to Night City for the Highway 99 trade talks?
Will I find him at the TOTENTANZ tonight? Or is that just as likely
as Samu-san concocting a batch of viable Keropi Origami...like
frogs raining down from the skies....useless, yet pretty in its
own fashion. There is a time and place for such things. What the
frack, why not.
"Come on Dowg, let's pay Lower Midzone a little visit. It might
do me some good to get out for a while." |
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